Fear

Fear is such a strange thing. It grabs hold and hangs on tight. For some reason I have a HUGE fear of fire. (There have been several fires at my parents house and several evacuations.) Last night as I was getting ready for bed I spotted a glowing red giant rushing up our road. It was a firetruck with all of it's lights flashing and no sirens announcing it's presence. I opened the door to investigate and I immediately smelled smoke. I FROZE with my heart trying to jump out of chest I ran to wake up Jeff who in his sleepiness say, "there's nothing for us to do." No so for me, I'm literally shaking and I can't help it. My mind starts racing. Jeff has sense enough to grab me in a bear hug and pray. That helps, but I need him to check on things- so he does. From our backyard, he spots embers shooting up to the sky originating at the end of our road. He comes running back in and says, "I have a job for you." He instructs me to run down to our turn-off and get the fire trucks attention. We live in the mountains with no street lights and poor street signage and one of them missed our turn. Frantically I start searching for my shoes and take off. I realize, when I'm doing something to help with the situation I feel better. Although as I'm running out of the house I'm worried about my babies sleeping peacefully and the neighbors a few houses down the road. Eventually the embers disappear and I am left smelling like smoke and shaken but grateful that it appears no one was hurt and that the damage was minimal. Tori woke up and I invite her to cuddle with me on the couch. She and I snuggle on the couch and I'm able to relax again. I wasn't able to fall asleep until the last firetruck passed our house but after that I actually slept pretty well... except when the kids woke me up for random reasons. My other fear... earthquakes!