Our little girl

Since we can't post pictures of our little girl here... I've created a private blog to introduce her.  If you'd like to view it, please send me your e-mail address.

She's adorable!

Arms Wide Open

I was driving the other day and this song by Creed came on the radio- it did make me cry (and I'm not a crier).

Arms Wide Open

Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I closed my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open

Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man (woman) I have to be
I'll take a breath, I'll take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life (saved a life)

With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
With arms wide open
I'll show you everything ...oh yeah
With arms wide open..wide open

I remember hearing this song when I was pregnant and thinking it was such a great song to describe how I was feeling but I didn't realize that it would also perfectly describe how I would be feeling after finding out about the little girl we are going to adopt. With a few word changes this song again fits. Instead of creating life... we are saving a life.

We learned more about our little girl the other day and it was amazing to hear how God has protected her from before birth. Although we can't give details about her case you can imagine what that might involve. She was protected from so much and we know God heard our prayers as we were praying protection for our unknown child.

Unfortunatly, we won't be able to post photos or her name until after she is adopted, which might be over a year. If you'd like to see a picture once we pick her up please leave a comment or message me and I'll send you one via e-mail. PS- she's beautiful and will perfectly fit our family. She's a big girl just like Tori and Siah 9 lbs 13 oz at birth and already over 20 pounds at 8 1/2 months. Can't wait to give her cuddles! One week and one day until our arms are wide open to her.

Adoption Update

Not much to update really but for inquiring minds-

We have our home study in for an 18 month old girl as well as a 6 month old baby (not sure is it's a boy or girl). Both are in the system and their social worker is trying to determine if there is eligible family to adopt them. If not, we will be considered along with other families. So, we're waiting. No, we would not get both of them and thankfully they are with the same social service worker so she know the situation of both and our family and can make a good decision with that information.

We both have a feeling that it will happen within the next few months though since we are only days away from being completely done with the addition (Thank you Lord!) and it's always in His perfect timing so we thinking He was probably giving us time to be ready. We'll let you know.

Tori is asking daily when our adopted baby will arrive. She was so cute the other day and offered to clean the house super well with Daddy while I go have a surgery to get the baby... ahhhhh, so sweet but I'm not doing that again! I've tried to explain the other mother concept but it does get a bit confusing especially when most of my friends have newborns.

Cried at Costco today...

but not for the reasons you'd assume. The children were actually very well behaved, the sample lines were orderly, and I didn't even exceed my budget. No, I didn't cry for an obvious reason it was because I was having a conversation with my daughter that touched me deeply.

We were purchasing supplies for my brother and sis-in-law to take to an orphanage in Haiti. Through a generous donation I was able to pick up a ton of protein bars and fruit roll-up among other things. As Tori was watching me fill our cart with all the boxes she asked me about what I was doing.

So, we started talking about the orphans and I reminded her about the children in the earthquake that she had seen on TV and how her and her daddy had given money to help them. I explained that her Auntie and Uncle were leaving to help them in a few days and that we were buying food for them.

This led into a conversation about orphans-it's difficult to tell my child that there are children in this world without parents so I tried to keep it as light as possible. I said something about their parents not being around to help them anymore so they all live together. She immediately processed my answer and said, "because they died in the earthquake? Did the roof fall on them- maybe? That's so sad!"

I was amazed that she got it and nervous that she would worry about us or be paranoid about earthquakes but again she surprised me and said, "I should draw them pictures to make them not so sad." I told her that that was very thoughtful and then she asked how many children there were so she'd know how many pictures to draw. I answered, "there are 115 at the orphanage they are going to." She got really quiet and said with a lot of emotion, "that's a lot." And my eyes welled up... I was doing all I could to hold it together in the check out line realizing that it is A LOT and that doesn't even begin to account for the true number effected. I'm glad we can help in some small way. I wish we could do more. Like provide a loving home for some of the orphans... we're still waiting for an adoption placement.

So, that's why I cried at Costco today. I think it was a good reason though and I'm certainly not ashamed. My heart is broken for them but thankful that my daughter cares as well.

Spring will come...

I know spring will come eventually. This past week we saw the sun- it was FABULOUS! My crocus took advantage and bloomed in full. It gave me such hope. The long rainy days of winter are hard. (Yes, I know that we've got great winter weather compared to most of the world). But this past month has been hard... on top of all the rain, it's been an emotional roller coaster with adoption stuff and we've all been fighting the sickies which means NO SLEEP for anyone. I'm not usually an emotional person but I feel on the brink of tears for the past month. And then I got sick this past week with something that knocked me out for a few days and has left me voiceless, with a killer sore throat. When you start to feel overwhelmed even the tiniest things seem to be monsters. I'm not kidding the tiniest things like, ANTS- they have invaded my kitchen. I'm at war with a tiny bug and it's winning both physically and emotionally. Seriously, today after I left the house I found one in my hair, on the kids lunch bag, and on Siah's toy... how dare they follow me. They are tormenting me. Jeff can attest... I pulled out the jar of honey yesterday and just about lost it when I found then on it and crawling on my hand. Thankfully he offered to clean up and suggested numerous ways to torture them- it made me laugh. Sick, I know! Another tiny thing that pushes me over the edge- Josiah, dumping all his toys off his shelf. I feel that it's a personal affront- his way of saying, "take this Mommy!" I know it's not, but my tired brain translates thing incorrectly lately. Here's another one- Tori points to the laundry and excitedly shouts, "Mommy, the pile is almost as high as ceiling!" Ugh... I'm defeated by the laundry! I'm also deFEETed by feet and paws... dirty ones all over the floor. What's the point of trying to keep them clean? I don't know, I've given up on that battle.

So there they are... my recent stuggles. You know what? It makes me feel a lot better to blog about it. I know that my friends and family that read this understand and have "been there". I know it's all trivial and that spring is soon here. We'll all be healthy again. Eventually I'll sleep through the night. The ants will go marching on and I'll accept the fact that the laundry will never be done and my floors will never stay clean. I'm also hoping and praying that we'll know more regarding our adoption soon. The 8 month old was placed. The newborn went to a family we know and we couldn't be happier for them. We're still waiting to hear about the 4 month old and the Haitians.

In other news- we were very happy to get our addition permit signed off yesterday. We still have some work to do before we can move in but that was a huge hurdle and it's over! The final inspection guy was literally here for 5 minutes. What an answer to prayer!

Probably Not

So we haven't heard for sure but we are probably not going to be chosen as the family for the newborn baby girl. Her mom wants someone who is not in the Santa Cruz area and a couple that can't have children of their own. I understand that and know that there are at least 3 other families that she is choosing from that might match those criteria.

I was bummed but I know that when God has the right one for us we will know and it will all workout. It was hard having to give up the idea of a newborn again. When we decided to adopt I knew in all likelihood we wouldn't get a newborn so to be close to having one be an option made me realize that I still haven't given up that dream entirely.

However, this would've been a private adoption and after finding out how much it would cost it was a bit intimidating- especially for Jeff.

Maybe we'll hear something regarding the other available children soon. I really hope so! The waiting is so hard and I don't know how to guard my heart in the meantime.

I Can't Sleep

Why can't I sleep?... because we just found out this evening that there is a possibility that a baby who was born today- on Valentine's Day, could be ours in a few days! Yes, we were just informed that our family will be presented to a woman looking for an adoptive family. We don't have much info since we only found out by a message - we hope to find out more tomorrow.

My mind is racing with the "What if'" and "maybe" questions of having a newborn in a few days. I'm in constant prayer for this woman considering adoption. I pray the birth went well and that the baby is healthy. I hope and pray that she's not alone right now. I'm so thankful that she loved and respected the life of this little one. I'm praying that even if we are not the family chosen that this child will be adopted into a loving family and that this woman will find peace in her decision to let him/her be adopted. Please pray too.

In other news- we are waiting to hear if we are chosen by the social workers representing an 8 month old boy in addition to the 4 month old boy I mentioned recently. We won't hear anything regarding either of them any earlier than Tuesday though since tomorrow is a holiday.

That's why I can't sleep. But I'm sure going to try and if I can't, I'll just keep praying.

News

So everytime the phone rings or I get a new e-mail my first thought is... this could be life changing news. Usually it's a sales call or junk e-mail though. The waiting is so hard... it's kind of like taking a pregnancy test and really hoping for it to be positive and then getting inconclusive results.

However, today we finally got a call regarding the twins and after hearing all that their care would involve we've decided that we can't take them on. Please pray that there is a family willing and able to bring these kids into their heart and home. We know that it would be way too overwhelming for our family at this time. The little girl has some mental and physical issues that are still unknown but potentially very serious.

In other news- our homestudy has been submitted for a 4 month old little boy that will be entering the foster system soon... we'll update when we know more.

Nothing new on the Haitians but the fact that they are still in the news often I personally think is a good thing. Hopefully their desperate situation will not get ignored and the world will put pressure on them to find a solution for the kids.

Adoption Update

Our family as it is right now... However, I created this photo sheet to add to our adoption file. As it is... we have 95% of our paperwork completed (they just added a few more forms) and we are waiting for our Home Study which will probably happen in July. After that, it's a wait and see. I'm so curious about the timing. What is God planning? I know it's always perfect. Where is the little one that will be joining our family? Please continue to pray for us and our unknown child. Oh, shameless plug... I created this using Storybook Creator software from Creative Memories. You can make one too. :) Just go to my website for more info www.mycmsite.com/bethanycoffer or contact me directly.

Adoption- Here's what we're doing

So, over the past few months I've mentioned our plans to adopt in our Christmas letter, our blog, and on Facebook... and it's making people curious. I would love to answer every ones e-mails individually but I thought I'd blog about it so that if (I mean- when) I get side-tracked and forget, you'll know I'm not intentionally ignoring you.

Here's the deal- Jeff and I were having a discussion about how many kids we want and we couldn't come to an agreement. I said at least 3 and he said, "we don't have the infrastructure to support more." I'm not kidding- he's such an engineer. Me, being a great debater, pointed out the fact that- "infrastructures are built". Ha, got him on that one! So the conversation continued.

One day in church we were watching a video and there was an African child living in extreme poverty. It was heartbreaking! (We witnessed this kind of poverty when we lived in the Dominican Republic for several months and it's something that we will NEVER forget... and don't want to. It changed the way we view everything.) OK, back to the day we watched the video- when we came home from church Jeff said to me, "I don't want to bring another child into this world when there are little ones Tori's age living on the streets in cardboard boxes." As we watched her playing in the front yard, He continued, "Where she will sleep and what she will eat today is the furthest thing from her mind." Ahh... I love this man.

Well, we had always talked about wanting to adopt but I had thought it would be further down the road when our kids were older. So, I spent an afternoon talking with God asking Him if we should adopt. During that time I felt that I needed to give up my desires to physically have another child, fears of my ability to love this child as much as Tori & Siah, and fears of a difficult adoption process. My prayer time was amazing! There are times in my life where God speaks to me so clearly that it's almost audible... this was one of them. He told me, "it's not, IF you adopt? It's- WHEN!" Oh, that got me excited and truly my fears were calmed. (Another child without being prego and without having a 3rd C-section= total bonus!) I'm sure I'll have to surrender more fears as the process continues, but I'll cling to my absolute assurance that God has a plan for our lives and it involved someone that we haven't met yet but already love.

Here are the details- we are going through a local Christian agency in Scotts Valley called Hand In Hand. They work with a lot of the state agencies. So far, we've almost completed our paperwork... it's long and it doesn't help that mine got erased (thankfully I had a hard copy and now only need to re-type it.) We also need to do all sorts of things like background checks, physicals, CPR, and trainings. We're hoping to complete everything in March and then do the home study. After that... we're not sure about the timing. We're not planning to specify a boy or girl but we do want a child younger than Josiah by at least 9 months.

We also need to add on to our house (ah, infrastructure) and we'll probably be buying a minivan (more infrastructure).

Check back here occasionally and I'll update everyone on what's going on. Oh, and please be praying for our family and the family that will be involved in bringing our little one into our lives. Feel free to contact us any time... I really do try to get back to e-mails it just takes me some time.